Life after you

I hope the Lord brings you back to me someday in my life... You were here for a reason. And you're gone because I have don't have the right to have you anymore. Because of my mistakes, everything is gone. I've taught and educated myself on many things. But they didn't stay written in my heart. And I hurt you. You haven't slept, you've been pulling your hair out. You think I'm a bad person. I brought this all on myself. I have to breathe and think without you. I selfishly want you back, but I never can. Some mistakes can't heal, at least that's what I believe. I left a wound in your heart. Everything you thought I was came crashing down. and now...you don't need me. I know I will never be able to be with you again, with all these painful wrongdoings in my heart. Yet, I still hope the Lord will bring you back in my life. I don't know... what to do.