Untitled for now

I can feel the cuff links squeezing tighter on my wrists.
I slowly walk behind the men in uniform with my head hung low
Society has eyes that glare daggers and hatred at me
The family’s pain for their dead daughter will never be restored
A chorus of cheers erupts behind a cold steel fence
These are cheers of justice and burning anger inside.
As I walk, I feel the first glimpse of shame at myself
A cold blooded murderer
My body starts to itch with remorse
And the guilt washes over me

I am being shoved into a tiny and dark jail cell
Stumbling unto the ground
The darkness imprisons and engulfs me without a sound
I have nothing but the cold cracked walls to lean against
The officer tells me through the dark that I have three days
Until death. My Death.
My heart pounds rapidly, it might rip out of its chest.
My heart has turned against me, it hates me.
The growing fear is torture
The sin that I have committed will lead me to my eternal damnation
I am confined to solitude, struggling with deep thoughts
I am going to die in three days.
Ear piercing screams. Pleading and crying hard for mercy. She held up her hands to shield, and shut her eyes tight.

Blood dripped from the side of her face, racing down. Rivers of red poured down her body, scattering itself across the ground. He looks into the pale and unstill face of his lover. The colour has diminished. Her dark black hair remains tangled over her face.
Her blood cries out to him, for he has committed an act that will haunt him forever.
A sliver gleam of the knife lays into the grass.
He holds unto her as regret wraps around him.

I try to stop reminiscing about her death.
It’s impossible. I can still hear her screaming in my head.
The cold tears never stop flowing.
I just killed my soul mate, my life.
I am forever wanting to dig my own grave.
I’m going to die. My thoughts are strangling me,
I am slowly creating bruises of my sins.
I move my way around the cell. Pacing back and forth, feeling my way around six feet of space.
A cold shard of mirror I feel with my fingertips.
I slowly dig into my skin, dragging the sharpness of the mirror across.
It stings, but I deserve it.
The next day, it repeats.
My heart aches for freedom. I grab my head and shake back and forth.
I stretch out my arms and cry as loud as I can.
My head throbs, my mind is fucked up.
This isn’t happening now. I miss her.
Time is running out. I just want to be free.
My sin is piercing through my heart. My mind is etched with endless grief and thoughts that torture me.


A creak of light appears. I am being led up the narrow stairs.
The light of my day has vanished. This is it.
As I begin to fill into the room with my presence,
I can see the pained faces of the parents and brother of my wife.
I cannot even begin to describe the waver of pain that rushed over me.
“I’m sorry I caused you this pain. It’s my pain too. I deserve this,” I whisper.
Shaking as I stand on the stool, I panic and cry. I am now realizing that this is really it.
Through thick tears, I can see their faces.
After I die, there will be justice.
I’m insane with crying.
They are beginning to lower the rope; inches away from my throat
Choking with fear, I close my eyes.
I slowly raise my hand to my heart.
“Lord, forgive me.” My pale lips manage to utter.
I close my eyes. The rope reaches me, and then there is nothing more.